I don't give up
Maybe that's the one attribute of mine that will save my ass, or maybe it is my demise. Either way, my faith is in God and I can't actually tell one or the other, but I do know, I just don't give up. This mid life shit is crazy, and now all of the things that I thought about doing are now feeling impossible , like quite literally , impossible . There isn't enough time, and the weight of the universe is crushing me. I spent my first day off feeling this dread all day, and my wife tried all day to pry me open, but it wasn't until I made her laugh that evening I finally relaxed. Of course, not enough to tell her what was bothering me all day, but enough to feel better. Sometimes I fear that the only thing I have done right, are the easiest things to do. Clean house, hold a job, love my children, be loyal to my wife, please my wife on every level..... but I never , EVER fucking invested in my future.... why? Did I not think I would make it that far? What w